Management Gyaan!!!

Dear friends, in the words of my friend Anupam, we are the "future" managers of our country. So let me share some management lessons that we never get in MBA classrooms....in an entertaining fashion....all the credit or discredit goes to the copyright owner Mr. Anupam Niyogi!

ENJOYYYYYYY !!!!!!!

* Lesson Number One*

A crow was sitting on a tree, doing nothing all day. A small rabbitsaw the crow, and asked him, "Can I also sit like you and do nothingall day long?" The crow answered: "Sure, why not." So, the rabbit sat on the ground below the crow, and rested. All of a sudden, a fox appeared, jumped on the rabbit and ate it.

Management Lesson: To be sitting and doing nothing, you must besitting very, very high up. .

* Lesson Number Two *

A turkey was chatting with a bull.
"I would love to be able to get to the top of that tree," sighed the turkey, "but I haven't got the energy. "Well, why don't you nibble on some of my droppings?" replied the bull. "They're packed with nutrients."The turkey pecked at a lump of dung and found that it actually gave him enough strength to reach the first branch of the tree. The nextday, after eating some more dung, he reached the second branch. Finally after a fortnight, there he was proudly perched at the top ofthe tree. Soon he was promptly spotted by a farmer, who shot the turkey out of the tree.

Management Lesson: Bullshit might get you to the top, but it won'tkeep you there.

* Lesson Number Three *

When the body was first made, all the parts wanted to be Boss. Thebrain said, "I should be Boss because I control the whole body'sresponses and functions."
The feet said, "We should be Boss as we carry the brain about and gethim to where he wants to go." The hands said, "We should be the Bossbecause we do all the work and earn all the money." And so it went onand on with the heart, the lungs and the eyes until finally theasshole spoke up. All the parts laughed at the idea of the asshole being the Boss. Sothe asshole went on strike, blocked itself up and refused to work.Within a short time the eyes became crossed, the hands clenched, thefeet twitched, the heart and lungs began to panic and the brain fevered. Eventually they all decided that the asshole should be theBoss, so the motion was passed.
All the other parts did all the work while the Boss just sat andpassed out the shit!

Management Lesson: You don't need brains to be Boss, any asshole will do! You just need to screw people at the right moment.

* Lesson Number Four *

A little bird was flying south for the winter. It was so cold, thebird froze and fell to the ground in a large field. While it was lyingthere, a cow came by and dropped some dung on it. As the frozen birdlay there in the pile of cow dung, it began to realize how warm itwas. The dung was actually thawing him out!
He lay there all warm and happy, and soon began to sing for joy. A passing cat heard he bird singing and came to investigate. Following the sound, the cat discovered the bird under the pile of cow dung, and promptly dug him out of the shit and ate him!

Management Lessons
A) Not everyone who drops shit on you is your enemy.
B) Not everyone who gets you out of shit is your friend.
C) When you're in deep shit, you better keep your mouth shut!

PS: THESE ARE PROVEN FACTS AND SHOULD BE KNOWN TO EVERY MANAGER.....

My favourite poems

Two poems that have influenced and touched me to the core are posted below. Hope these will do my readers some good.Looking forward to your comments and suggestions.

INVICTUS
---William E. Henley


Out of the night that covers me,
Black as the pit from pole to pole,
I thank whatever gods may be
For my unconquerable soul.

In the fell clutch of circumstance
I have not winced nor cried aloud.
Under the bludgeonings of chance
My head is bloody, but unbowed.

Beyond this place of wrath and tears
Looms but the Horror of the shade,
And yet the menace of the years
Finds and shall find me unafraid.

It matters not how strait the gate,
How charged with punishments the scroll,
I am the master of my fate:
I am the captain of my soul.



Don't Quit!

-Anonymous


When things go wrong, as they sometimes will,
when the road you're trudging seems all uphill,
When the funds are low and the debts are high,
And you want to smile, but you have to sigh,
When care is pressing you down a bit,
Rest, if you must, but do not quit.

Life is queer with its twists and turns,
As every one of us sometimes learns,
And many a failure turns about,
When he might have won had he stuck it out;
Don't give up though the pace seems slow-
You may succeed with another blow.

Often the goal is nearer than,
It seems to a faint and faltering man,
Often the struggler has given up,
When he might have captured the victor's cup,
And he learned too late when the night slipped down,
How close he was to the golden crown.

Success is failure turned inside out-
The silver tint of the clouds of doubt,
And you never can tell how close you are,
It may be near when it seems so far,
So stick to the fight when you're hardest hit-
It's when things seem worst that you must not quit.